Name: Suzanne Q. Grumperson
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Nickname: Suzy, she kindly demands all to call her by this name.
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Age: 7 ½
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Gender: Female
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Siblings: Bobby and Gregory
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Family Relations: Suzy considers herself the caretaker of her family. They can all trust her with their secrets and love to be around her. She fiercely protects her brothers, however, especially whenever anyone foolishly has the audacity to question them or speak ill of them in her presence.
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Happiest Memory: Convincing the ice-cream man it was in his best interest to give her free samples when in her neighborhood.
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Childhood Trauma: Swallowing her first loose tooth.
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Grooming: Immaculately clean. No dirt under her nails at any time. Her hair is washed daily with Prell shampoo, conditioned with TSUBAKI Premium Hair Conditioner and finally brushed exactly 34 times on each side of her head.
Mannerisms: Suzy hardly speaks, and uses little inflection when she does. While having an active imagination, she possesses a unique facial expression that betrays nothing, hands hanging at her side unless working or playing. She watches her brothers at all times to ensure they behave themselves.
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Athletic: Non-athletic, enjoys playing more stationary games and Solitaire and Operation.
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Education: Home Schooled, at an 8th-grade level
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Self-esteem: Extremely high; boarding on arrogant.
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Talents: Charisma, medicine, chemistry, art
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Shortcomings: Loner, sometimes overprotective
Speech: Articulate
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Decisions: Practical and factual
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Attitude: Neutral
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Secretly Idolizes: Pippi Longstocking, Joan of Arc, Nurse Ratched, Big Tony, Sid Philips
Social: Unsurprisingly, Suzy doesn’t like interacting with her peers. What she does enjoy is visiting town meetings or courtrooms and listening to adults talk. She often joins the local high school debate teams with great success, despite not being enrolled in the schools themselves. While everyone in town knows her, few would dare to call her a friend.
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Most protective of: Brother Bobby
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What she believes others think of her: She is scary but calculating. Pretty and intimidating and pretty intimidating. It’s best to agree with her.
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What others really think of her: She is a mystery wrapped up a riddle and deep-fried in an enigma and if you try to unravel her you might not live long.
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Life goal: To own a pet goldfish. And a Betta fish.
Embarrassed by: Losing a debate about the ethical implications of child leashes.
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Compulsion: To prevent and eliminate stupidity worldwide.
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Hobbies and skills: Debating, playing with her corn husk dolls, scrawling elaborate plans in the dirt with large sticks or bones.
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Transgressions: Scaring adults
Suzy’s Bio:
Suzy is a child of few words. So few, in fact, that neighbors often mistake her voice for a passing breeze or a hushed whisper wafting through the back of their minds. Her volume doesn’t do her personality justice, however. At only 7 and a half, Suzy is the most respected and feared child in her neighborhood.
She considers herself to be selfless, and enjoys helping around the house, spending time with her brothers, and keeping a close, watchful eye on her neighbors. In fact, Suzy can often be seen standing on her front porch staring into the distance for hours at a time. When asked what she’s looking at, she simply responds that she likes to “keep an eye on things.”
Once a neighbor jokingly asked Suzy if she were the newest member of the neighborhood watch committee. Suzy responded with a soft, “Their efforts were never enough,” never taking her eyes off of the threatening world around her. Indeed, with her watchful gaze and incessant tenacity in scanning the neighborhood for scoundrels, many neighbors have never felt safer. No one would dare commit a crime under her watchful gaze.
In fact, whenever Suzy goes out “on patrol,” neighbors often feel obligated to be kinder to each other. Arguments cease. Squabbles grind to a halt. Even colicy babies suddenly become quiet and peaceful. Offenders can count on her attention becoming fixated on them until their action becomes more acceptable.
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Suzy enjoys the simple pleasures in life, such as playing surgeon with her rag dolls and perfecting her mud pies behind the barn. Neighbors have expressed concern as they’ve witnessed her proceeding to dismember old dolls and mend their imaginary ailments. Suzy applies the same loving attention to detail when watching over her brothers as well. She can often be seen lurking in the background, quietly staring down anyone ignoring Gregory’s astute advice or neglecting to laugh at the conclusions of Bobby’s jokes.