Name: Robert B. Grumperson
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Nickname: “Bobby” to outsiders, Robert with his immediate family
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Age: 12
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Gender: Male
Personal:
Siblings: Gregory and Suzy
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Family Relations: Bobby appears to love being around his family, but his lack of expression makes it difficult to determine. They believe in his inward affection shown through his unique fashion sense that only his family can appreciate.
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Happiest Memory: Joining the baseball team.
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Childhood Trauma: Being banned from the town baseball team.
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Grooming: Starts each day clean, but comes home every night with grass stains on his knees and pockets full of pebbles. Hair combed for a minimum of 10 minutes each morning, but can get a little wild by evening.
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Mannerisms: Stands ramrod straight at all times, leaves his hands at his sides unless participating in an activity such as marbles or freestyle archery, tends to blink rapidly when engaging in deep thought. Bobby has never been seen laughing, coughing, sneezing, or making any other facial expression (with the exception of a small smirk in 2008, just prior to the market crash).
Athletic: Moderately athletic, more energetic than his siblings.
Intellect
Education: Home Schooled, at the target level.
Self-esteem: Moderate, he’s comfortable with himself and prefers to be alone.
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Talents: Sports fan, wordsmith, hyper observant.
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Shortcomings: Impatient, trouble seeker, hyper observant.
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Speech: Articulate and precise.
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Decisions: Emotional and hyper observant.
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Attitude: Optimistic to a fault.
Relationships
Social: Bobby loves telling jokes and interacting with others, even when he doesn’t fully understand what’s going on around him. However, his lack of expression often makes it challenging for others to know when he’s joking, and they often take his words more seriously than what he possibly intends.
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Oldest Friend: Brother Gregory
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What he believes others think of him: He is witty and a great conversationalist.
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What others really think of him: He’s never done anything directly harmful, but his jokes can be severely unnerving. Does he really mean what he’s saying? Is he trying to be funny, or making some kind of Freudian confession?
Secrets
Life goal: To one day tell a joke to funny that it makes someone squirt milk out of their nostrils.
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Embarrassed by: A family photo of him in his underwear at the beach last year.
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Compulsion: Making others laugh through witticisms and puns.
Hobbies and skills: Reading, sports, writing gags
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Transgressions: Being socially awkward and hyper observant
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Secretly Idolizes: The Boxcar Children, Hypno Toad, French mimes
Bobby’s Bio:
Several days a week it wouldn’t be odd to find Bobby at the school bus stop sharing the latest joke he heard. This would be less concerning if not for the fact that he’s home-schooled. With an unsettling curl to his lips, he will quickly ramble off a joke or riddle to the cringes and blank stares of the other schoolchildren.
If asked, Bobby would say there was nothing better than a well-timed joke and that he’d learned one day as he followed his older brother around the farm when they were younger. Bobby had seen how skittish the calves were and replied, “They are such cow-herds.” The cold stare and blank expression Bobby received from Gregory was confirmation enough that he was, indeed, naturally gifted in comedy.
Bobby’s constant onslaught of jokes are a curiosity to his neighbors. While he has never laughed at his own jokes, it was quickly learned from others that he appreciated such responses from his audience, and they would be quick to humor him rather than put up with any potential shenanigans later.
Sometimes his jokes can be a bit darker than his neighbors expect a child of his age to tell, but they try not to take them too seriously, hoping and praying that he’s just an innocent, socially awkward child who desperately wants to tickle their funny bones.
While it is hard to force their laughter, neighbors learn to do so or face sustained eye contact with Bobby upon the completion of the punch line. Bobby likes predictable routines, and he’s learned that when there’s a pronounced pause his listeners know intuitively that the joke has ended and laughter should begin. Bobby has never shied away from an opportunity to spread good cheer in his community, and eagerly awaits the day he’ll be the next contestant on America’s Got Talent.
Bobby was elated when he joined the local baseball team shortly after turning 12. Capturing the eyes of one of his teammates, Bobby would recite his jokes until he received a happy utterance of some kind. One fateful day, Bobby declared to his team that he had mastered joke telling and would soon “up his game” by moving on to physical comedy.
The next week he came to practice with a modified baseball bat, complete with nails driven through the top. With a straight face, he asked the pitcher to throw him a ball, who obediently did so, albeit reluctantly. As soon as the bat made contact and remained impaled on a nail, Bobby knew he had struck comedy gold. “This is hilarious,” Bobby said. “Comedy is based on the element of surprise, and it is surprisingly and unexpected for the ball not to move away from the bat. Don’t you think this is funny?”
None of the witnesses felt they could disagree with his statement, and quickly erupted in a bout of laughter, many of them clapping in support as they stood up and slowly backed away from the field. Bobby was quietly asked to skip all forthcoming baseball games, with the coach personally encouraging him to go home and continue to hone his comedy skills. Bobby agreed, and was happy to oblige, promising to one day return and show them all.